Moment of Truth: Did You Think It Would Be Easy?

I’m not going to lie, I thought it would be. I was hoping I would jump out and start flying. I was naïve to think because I’m saved and I have God on my side that everything will magically work. The scriptures say, “Everything will work for my good.”(Romans 8:28) I literally thought everything except me would work and I would reap all the benefits. Growing up has taught me that even though God is on my side, I still have a part to do.

Bad habits are hard to quit! When I got married and had a baby I believed that life would only get better. I have a great man who loves me and a beautiful daughter that I’m proud of. I thought because I was saved and he was saved that we would always enjoy marital bliss. I didn’t disregard the work but I didn’t acknowledge how hard it would be. To be honest, I don’t know what I was thinking. Marriage comes with ups and downs. Marriage comes with good and bad.

So, a couple of days ago Dave and I were arguing. To be honest, we usually argue so it’s not a surprise. I don’t even remember what it was about or who started it. Sometimes arguing with my husband is irritating and other times are just hilarious. You know when you are in the heat of the moment and you’re so angry you speak before you think. Your words come out but don’t sound right and the person you’re arguing with looks at you crazy like, “What in the world you talking about?” I have been there so many times with my husband and every time we find a way to work it out.

Whenever Dave and I fuss or argue about something my mind instantly reverts back to Hosea and Gomer. In the bible, there is a book called Hosea that talks about this incredible love story between God, Israel, Hosea, and Gomer. At that time Israel was in chaos, doing her thing, being big and bad. God was heartbroken and fed up with their mess and told them that they’re going to suffer for their actions. God used the life and marriage of Hosea to demonstrate and prophesy what will happen to Israel. Most importantly, he used this man and wife as an example of how much he still loves them. Incredible right! Gomer started out as a faithful wife and mother but lost her love for her husband. She started to have promiscuous sex with other men, bore children by these affairs and eventually ran off with the man she deemed her “soul mate.” She embarrassed Hosea, broke his heart and ran over it until it was in a million pieces.

But, here’s the twist: When Hosea heard his wife got dumped, had debt, and was currently on the slave market for slave his response was crazy. I mean, most people would have laughed bitterly, screamed out, “that’s what she deserves;” but instead he ran to her, paid her debt, cleaned her up, and took his baby home.

Now, I’m not saying my husband drives me crazy enough to cheat. But whenever friction is between Dave and me, my mind automatically goes to Hosea and Gomer. I don’t know if Hosea and Gomer had similar marital problems or not. I’m not even sure how they communicated, but it warms my heart whenever I argue with David because it challenges me to love him unconditionally. It’s hard for us to love someone unconditionally because we were fashioned to favor conditions. As long as he treats me right then I will love and respect him. As long as she gives me booty then I will treat her like a queen. It is very hard to love someone flaws and all, mistakes and lies without expecting anything in return.

One particular day I was looking up new scriptures to help me better love my spouse and I was led to Hosea and Gomer. I read the entire book and was blow away at the dramatic, awe-inspiring love. I mean I was surprised at the intensity of their love. You think you only see it in movies, but right before my eyes, God was showing me how much he loves me. Only God can love me unconditionally. No matter how many times I mess up, fall, lie, act selfish, ignore him, treat him and others wrong, he is always waiting to run and clean me up and take me home. My God loves me so much that he will even throw in some conditions just to make me think that I’m doing something to earn his love. You don’t believe me! In the bible, the Lord tells Israel that if you keep my commandments that He will be with him forever (Leviticus 26)! God already promised them over and over that he is their God, he is their guide, their king but he holds them accountable. God doesn’t want fake, forced love but the real thing (John 15). Even though we could never earn his love, he sets it up so we can still receive his love. That is amazing.

Moment of Truth: I’m God’s Beloved

“You are my passion, My one desire, You Lord, Only You lord, Only You!”

 I felt that others saw me as ordinary compared to my brother. Maybe they did and maybe they didn’t. I should have been focused on how much God saw me. He told me I am his original masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). He makes me special and never forgets us. I am God’s adopted child (John 1:12). I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). There are so many scriptures of love, encouragement, and uplifting for anyone who feels unappreciated, disrespected, or alienated. In 1 Corinthians 12:4-6; 14-18 lists all the wonderful and many gifts that anyone of us could do for Christ. Don’t think about your flaws and think about how God thinks about you. If you ever have a low moment just think on these:

  • God knew me in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). He saw my potential, passions and my destiny.
  • As odd or insignificant you may feel, you were created on purpose with purpose!
  • Follow your dreams despite all odds. Don’t allow judgments of others birth bitterness.
  • Follow your passion, figure out what you love to do – what you were made to do and never look back.
  • Don’t forget Jesus! He created you in his own image and knows every little detail about you. He is the only creator that knows how to make you really shine brightly. When you include Christ, you include the “shine”.
  • Be willing to take the next step forward. Don’t just dream of it but do it.
  • God will complete the good work He started in you – Philippians 1:6
  • Don’t put dreams on hold in favor of practicality. God promises to supply our every need.

The truth is that listening to God is tremendously tough. God is perfect and we are imperfect. God is not bound by limits while we are limited. When you don’t trust God’s plan – you instead take matters into your own hands. I know I didn’t always receive his love and the gift he wanted me to have. It’s much easier to sin and live selfishly than humble ourselves and accept his way. But our lives are better when we obey God and live freely. Without God, living our dreams is impossible. Without God, you set yourself up for failure. Failure is never the goal, but God can still use it for you to learn, grow, and change (James 1:3; Romans 5:3-4…).

God gives us strength and protection when we’re vulnerable to criticism from people. No one likes being laughed at or scorned. But with Christ, you will have confidence and assurance that no matter who is laughing, God is smiling. I agree, it’s much easier to find shelter in the known than risk stepping into the unknown where anything can happen. But that’s it! Anything can happen with Christ Jesus! Step away from the bad and open your mind to every good and wonderful possibility! Risk the humiliation, the setbacks, the heartbreak so you can receive those “anything can happen” blessings. So tell yourself to no longer pick at your scabs. Refuse to critic yourself to the point of oblivion. We all have special talents and gifts. Your gift is only useful when your greatest passion combines with the Spirit of God.

We All Have A Destiny…Part 3

God patiently waited and beckoned me to him. When I thought I wasn’t worth it, he reminded me that I was (Ephesians 2:10). When I thought I couldn’t measure up, he assured me that without him I wouldn’t be (Philippians 4:13). Every time I missed an alter call, ignored a message – he waited. Finally, I was sick of feeling empty. My desires stirred up confidence, boldness, and hunger. I was tired of being ignored and unfulfilled. I started to chase after God (which is funny because once I said yes I didn’t have to pursue him, he readily revealed himself). I read the Word of God until I received strength like Samson to fight for what was mine all along.917091_1434080843512623_284009758_n

The process was painful and at times weary. I felt stupid, dumb, and any other word you could tell yourself to keep you down. Overcoming the past freed me to finally pursue God and what he had for me. Even though I struggle to recover from the old, I struggle forward, closer to victory. For years, I never felt I was capable of doing anything notable for God compared to others. Through time, prayer, waiting and watching I learned that my capabilities, talents, and gifts cannot be compared to others. Just like an ear cannot be compared to a nose. An ear is no greater or more important than a nose. Both parts are needed for the body to function so without one, it wouldn’t be capable of hearing or smelling. If the ear wanted to be a nose, then who would be the ear? My part in God’s plan is something only I can achieve. I won’t have to measure up to others because only I can fulfill it wonderfully. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

I’ve truly come so far from how I used to think and live. I’m no longer the little girl with a great voice. Now, I’m a wife, mother, blogger with a self-assured, word-inspired, victorious voice. I’m not just a singer – but a writer. I can officially say that unafraid, unashamed, and free.

When I say I write with purpose it’s because I do! I write (and blog) to remind myself to never go back. Writing shows me I was birthed for more. There is more to me than just how I dress, walk, or speak. I refuse to be defined by just one part of who I really am. My purpose is sealed in Christ and no one can change that. I refuse to allow visions of others weigh me down. I can no longer accept the image of man but carry on the image of God. My gift is to write and if I happen to sing – then I’ll sing of his wondrous name!

Life Lesson: Determination

I’ve always believed that God created a specific calling — a destiny that no one else can fulfill. I’ve been waiting — searching for mine for so long — trust me when I say how infuriating it is when you see others (family, friends, saints…) befriend their God-given purpose. It’s hard to be happy for others shining in the light (no shade) while you’re stuck in the shadows. But the last thing you need is to be consumed with the success of others instead of working toward yours. So while I’ve celebrated others, I’ve been determined to focus on what drives me. What do I hear God telling m? I haven’t always been a good listener and I have missed the opportunities, But I’m determined to get it.

Despite it all, I’m accepting the challenge to write, play, blog, and all. I hate to stop now, especially when I have so many ideas. I wasn’t expecting blogging, mommy-ing, and wifely-ing would be difficult to juggle. I’m determined to keep working towards achieving my mommy and blogging goals. My blogging journey has been filled with anticipation, excitement, and not to forget my walking ten months old.  So I’m taking this opportunity — whether I was born for it or not — and I’m running with it. One day I want to look back and say that I took the jump and landed better than I thought I would.

I desire nothing more than to connect with other young, passionate woman. Married or single, I write to you and with you . I absolutely love it when I come across an amazing writer or mother who understands it all. Those “I got you” moments keep my head above water. Not to ignore any male readers — I hope to give you a little insight to what a woman contends with. My husband complains how “complicated” a woman’s mind works. I welcome all to enjoy this journey forward with me. I’m eager to meet and get to know other amazing bloggers. Bloggers got to stick together.