Forgive me Lord.
As much as I love God and study his Word, I still come up short. Being born and raised in knowing Jesus Christ doesn’t guarantee my salvation. Living a life influenced by his glory doesn’t exempt me from truly living like a Christian. I’ve always been (less aggressive) when it comes to sharing my faith with others. When I was younger I used to be ashamed because my understanding saw my faith as a strict list of rules. It wasn’t until I matured that I understood the purpose of his love. It was to keep me safe, keep me loved and keep me strong!
During my online accounting class, I cam across a beautiful singer, “Morgan Harper Nichols” and she sung a song called “I Can’t Save Myself.” I admit I was searching on YouTube and Pinterest while in class. Her song touched me so much, I forgot I was at Dunkin Donuts using their Wi-Fi hotspot. I listened to the song over and over until I knew all the words. I even downloaded the song and I have been playing it over since. After class was over, I was still excited about finding her song. I packed up and started walking home. Walking home I was humming the song, thinking to myself, “Wow! This woman is impacting people so beautifully and this song really got me hype!” Halfway home an unknown car stopped right in front of me while I was crossing the street. At first, I was mad because he nearly ran me over. Thank God he didn’t! So I got over it and started to walk around the back of the car. I’m on the other side of the street when the guy calls out to me. Usually, I ignore random men on the street for the same reason you do too. I’m happily married and even if I wasn’t…I’m fine. It was nearly twelve midnight and I really wanted to go home. But I went over to the car. He started to ask me about what music I listen to and handed me a Cd. I told him I don’t listen to rap or hip-hop but accepted his mixtape.
I know what you’re thinking: Why did she accept something she didn’t want? Why didn’t you just say no? I have no explanation! I was tired, long-winded, and caught off guard. But that’s it! As a Christian, I should never be surprised when an opportunity to share Christ is open. In fact, I should openly seek — staying watchful and sober like the scriptures say. Instead of accepting the mixtape of songs I don’t believe in, I should have (kindly) rejected and instantly shared about my mixtape. I have no excuse.
I didn’t realize until I was half-way up the street holding a mixtape I know I didn’t need or desire. Why the complacency? For a number of reasons that should never compromise the truth I know and love. So, I ask God to forgive me for being selfish, lazy, complacent and not watchful and sober. Help me to be aware of when someone is in need of your love, your power, and presence. Let me learn from my neglectful mistake and challenge myself to have my spiritual eyes, heart, and ears open.
The reason why I’m sharing this is because it bothered me. I was having a great day. I’ve been praying for God to use me in sharing his gospel and I failed. I instantly knew when I left the tape on the street and kept walking home that I had to confess what I failed to do in secret. Not for the sake of a blog post but because I was disappointed in myself. I want you to know that there is something worth sharing inside you. Don’t let an opportunity pass you by to share your passion, light, wit and charm to better someone’s life or even day.